In any new romantic relationship, there is an excitement in the new. Learning someone’s story, experiencing things fresh through their eyes, shared interests, exploration of the physical. But time and again I hear people asking “how do I know if it’s love?” And, most recently someone asked, “what does knowing actually feel like?”
Professor of Psychology, Barbara Fredrickson, has studied and written on the idea and feeling of “love.” Reading some of her work made me reflect on my own experiences with love as well as my clients’.
Many of us have experienced that young passionate form of love. You know, the one where you physically hurt when you’re apart. Where you hang on every word they say. When hours spent together feels like minutes. Where you can’t keep your hands off of each other. For many, this type of love is encountered when relatively young, before experience turns into baggage and walls. It’s when you love wholly, arms and heart wide open. For some, this love turns into their forever partner. In my experience (both personal and clinical), this is rare, but for a lucky few they are able to fan those flames for a lifetime.
For the rest of us, we are left chasing that feeling or forever comparing all other feelings to that experience. That all encompassing all-consuming feeling of “love.” But, is that…
