Why “learn, unlearn, relearn” should be our life motto

The vast majority of the work I do with my clients centers around their discomfort with and acceptance of change. Change in circumstance, change in life phase, change in their bodily form, change in beliefs, change in feelings toward a partner…change.

Sometimes, I wonder why we think that we are entitled to comfort, order, and peace when we live in a universe that is at its very essence chaotic and ever changing? We literally live on a giant rock hurtling through nothingness, orbiting around a ball of fire. At any moment that ball of fire could explode or another giant rock hurtling through the nothingness could collide with our giant rock. I say this not to freak you out, but more to remind you of the craziness of what we call life on Earth. It really is rather insane, if you think about it.

In this universe, change is the only thing that we can rely on. It is the only constant: seasons change, loved ones die, babies are born, bodies age, car accidents happen, jobs are gained, jobs are lost, people fall in love, relationships end. When we cling to our expectation of order and predictability or the illusion of control, we cause our own suffering. The greater the resistance to change, the greater the suffering. It’s like we’re clinging to the shore of a river, rather than relaxing and floating along with the current. Plus, we miss out on the beauty of the uncertainty that makes life what it is.